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<title>Please don't leave me at my weakest. by SunshineBoy_Felix</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28429005">Please don't leave me at my weakest.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineBoy_Felix/pseuds/SunshineBoy_Felix'>SunshineBoy_Felix</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A little, Angst, Bang Chan is Whipped, Bang Chan is a Good Hyung, Brotherly Affection, But not really though, Comfort, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Eventual Fluff, Fear, Felix has one, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lee Felix Needs a Hug (Stray Kids), Lee Felix-centric (Stray Kids), M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Phobias, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Protective Bang Chan, Scared Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Shy Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Sleepy Cuddles, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Stuffed Toys, Sweet Bang Chan, Sweet Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Their relationship is purely platonic though, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, enjoy my creation!, fight me, i think this is it, i'll add more tags if it's necessary, it's cute, someone give him a hug, somniphobia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:41:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,657</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28429005</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineBoy_Felix/pseuds/SunshineBoy_Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix has somniphobia. </p><p> </p><p>(Somniphobia is a phobia that causes extreme anxiety and fear around the thought of going to bed.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan &amp; Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>174</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Please don't leave me at my weakest.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello folks!! Welcome back to yet another one shot! I Can't believe this is my last fanfiction in 2020, time went by too fast! </p><p>I wrote this last night as a kind of relief. This is only based on my own experience with the fear and even then it's not that detailed. This is not how everyone with the fear reacts or experiences it, so please don't make assumptions!</p><p>TW: Intrusive thoughts, mentions of break in though it doesn't happen. </p><p>Please check the tags!</p><p>I think that's all!! Enjoy~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ever since he was little, Felix had been having major troubles sleeping, often going several days without sleep. Sometimes he would randomly wake up in the middle of the night and be unable to fall asleep again. After this had been going on for quite a while, his parents had gotten worried and had taken him to see various doctors and sleep professionals, and every time they had gotten the same answer. That he would eventually grow out of it. Trusting the professionals to know what they’re talking about, his parents didn’t worry about it much anymore, only helping him in the way they could.</p><p>But as Felix got older, the difficulty sleeping didn’t go, but rather slowly began to develop into anxiety and major panic. Instead of waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go to sleep again, or having periods of time where he simply couldn’t relax enough to sleep, he started dreading going to bed, avoiding it at all costs. What was once a relaxing part of his day, became a chore he didn’t look forward to.</p><p>Of course, he didn’t tell his parents about this newly developed fear about going to bed, neither did he tell his friends when he became a trainee or his members when he debuted in a group. At first he handled it quite well. On nights where he couldn’t seem to get out of his head and the shadows in the corners of his room became too scary, he would simply listen to some music or play on his phone with the light and volume on the lowest setting.</p><p>But even he should’ve known that it wouldn’t always be that way. He should’ve known that something would happen that would expose him and ruin the carefully crafted routine he had made.</p><p>-</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>03:23 am</em>
  </span>
</p><p>Felix sighed quietly through his nose as he looked at the clock on his bedside table. He was terribly exchausted but his mind just wouldn’t shut up about the horrible things that could happen to him or his loved ones while he was asleep. It also didn’t help that it was past 3 am. The witch hour. Now he knew he for sure he wouldn’t get any kind of sleep for at least an hour.</p><p>
  <em>You could stop breathing in your sleep.</em>
</p><p>Felix groaned into his hands tiredly, praying to whoever was listening that he would get atleast an hour of sleep before their tiring shedule started in a few hours.</p><p>
  <em>One of your members could get sick and you wouldn’t be there for them.</em>
</p><p>His heart started to beat faster as the endless possibilities ran through his head at max speed. He put his left hand over his heart while the other found a place on the pulse point on his neck.</p><p>
  <em>A murderer could enter your room and kill you, just like that.</em>
</p><p>He counted to 4 and inhaled slowly before counting to 4 again while exhaling. He repeated that a few times before his heart finally began to slow and his mind cleared a little. After sitting on his bed for a few minutes to catch his breath, he decided he could at least try and get some sleep, even if he only managed to squeeze in a few hours. He laid down on his side, facing the wall behind the bunk bed and closed his eyes. He clutched one of the many stuffed animals he owned in his arms tightly and sighed.</p><p>
  <em>Someone could be watching you in your sleep, Felix.</em>
</p><p>The young aussie’s eyes snapped open and he turned around and sat up quickly, making so much noise that he wondered how he hadn’t woken anybody up yet.</p><p>His heart started beating faster once again and he started to shake lightly. He tried counting to 4 while breathing in and out slowly, but it didn’t seem to work this time around.</p><p>Suddenly a muffled sound could be heard coming from the living room near his room.</p><p>
  <em>It could be somebody breaking in. Someone could be walking around your living room right now, Felix.</em>
</p><p>Felix tensed, eyes locking on the door in fear. The duvet that had been kicked on the floor earlier that night was quickly snatched up and held securely against his heaving chest. His hands had a death grip on the duvet, his knuckles going white and tingly from the loss of blood flow, he was surprised the material hadn’t ripped yet.</p><p>He sat staring at the door in silence for a few tense minutes, and just as he was about to relax again another creak could be heard from the living room, but this time closer to his door.</p><p>Felix’s head shot up and he whimpered, unable to hold in the sound of distress and fear. His heart started beating faster than before, if that was even possible and the only thing he could hear was the blood rushing past his ears, creating a buzzing kind of sound. He started to shake uncontrollably and let out little whimpering noises. He so desperatedly wanted to hide his face in his pillows and just forget about everything that was happeing outside of his room, but he couldn’t make himself look away from the door even if he wanted to, and he really didn’t. It felt like he had been dipped in a frozen lake, cold-sweat making itself known bit by bit. Endless scenarios ran through his head all at once. <em>Were there really someone out there? Am I going to die?!</em>, he thought frightened. He was so caught up in his own thoughts, that he didn’t notice the rustling coming from the bed above him, neither did he notice a person climbing down the latter silently. The freckled boy only semmed to aknowledge the presence of another person, when they crouched down beside his bed.</p><p>“Hey, hey. What’s wrong? Why are you still up?” A groggy voice asked, deep with sleep.</p><p>Felix jumped, frightened at the voice and person in front of him. He let out an unexpected sob, finally hiding his face in the duvet in front of him.</p><p>“Woah, hey. What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Asked a confused, yet concerned voice he now recognised to be Chan’s. The older boy sat on the bed in front of Felix and put his hands on the distressed boy’s knees.</p><p>The younger lifted his head from the duvet with tears rolling down his cheeks. Chan reached out and wiped the tears away with his thumbs, only for them to be replaced with new ones only a few moments later.</p><p>“I’m scared.” Felix admitted quietly, avoiding looking his hyung in the eye, not that it was very hard considering how dark the room was. He cursed his quivering voice and how fragile it sounded.</p><p>“Scared of what, Lix?” Chan asked with so much worry and love that his heart skipped a beat.</p><p>The dancer hesitated answering the question. Chan would probably laugh at him if he told what had been bothering him. “I-It’s stupid, don’t worry about it.” Felix tried to reassure his protective hyung, brushing it off as nothing.</p><p>Chan frowned, taking his hands and holding them gently in his own bigger, calloused ones. “If it makes you this scared and sad it’s not stupid, Baby,” The older comforted Felix, “ Please, tell hyung what’s wrong.”</p><p>Felix bit his lower lip as he contemplated if he should tell him or not. Deciding to just say fuck it, he proceeded to tell his oldest hyung about the thoughts and the sounds he heard outside, about how scared he had been and how he couldn’t sleep at 3 am, and finally he told him about his fear of sleeping and how he had always had that particular fear. And all the while Chan just sat on the bed and listened to it all without interrupting or asking any questions, squeezing his hands gently when he stumbled over some words.</p><p>When Felix had spilled everything Chan pulled Felix into a tight, warm hug, letting the younger calm down a little more against his chest. After a few minutes of them hugging and Chan swaying lightly from side to side, Felix pulled away and looked at Chan with so much trust and love that the latter’s heart ached.</p><p>“Wanna sleep with me for the rest of the night?” Chan asked, eyes soft and full of warmth and adoration for the small boy in front of him. Felix nodded shyly, letting himself get pulled out from under his own covers and up into his hyung’s bed. Chan climbed in right after him and laid now beside him. He let Felix snuggle up into his arms before pulling the covers over the two of them. But before settling down, the older gave Felix his plushie, the latter’s cheeks becoming a rosy red.</p><p>The two boys cuddled together tightly in bed, Chan hugging him with his chin on the smaller’s head.</p><p>Even though Felix now felt content, safe and warm in the arms of his older brother, he still couldn’t shake that little tingling fear that always seemed to accompany the thought of sleep. Chan, noticing him tensing, shushed him, rubbing his back.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Love. I’m here. You’re safe. Nothing’s gonna happen. Hyung will protect you, Little One.” The older aussie cooed into Felix’s ear. Felix could feel the rumble of Chan’s voice where his head was resting against his chest, a small smile coming to his face at the feeeling and words.</p><p>Felix nodded and pressed himself impossibly tighter into his leader’s embrace, his hands sliding under the producer’s shirt to hold him even tighter. Chan smiled lovingly at his little brother and kissed his forehead tenderly, closing his eyes.</p><p>And for the first time in a while, the intrusive thoughts fell silent, the anxiety seemed so much smaller and Felix fell asleep feeling content, warm and safe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I see you made it this far!! Thank you for reading, comments and kudos are much welcome and appreciated. You're also welcome to leave a request!!</p><p>If you see any errors or mistakes, please leave a comment so I can fix it, i'm trying to better my writing. </p><p>Stay safe and healthy! Happy New Year!!&lt;3</p><p>~ Sunshine✨</p></blockquote></div></div>
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